dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
