i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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