Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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