You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I need water and some morals
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
