party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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