do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You left your phone here
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