She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Randomize
