People with herpes should wear stickers.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
