I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
