Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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