The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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