I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
