Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
