we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
