We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
