She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
