Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
