Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
