yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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