You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
