I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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