i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
how drunk are you?
Several
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize