I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
