I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
