her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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