She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
