I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
