I wish I could teleport
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
