and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
