sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
