I'm really into asian looking animals
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
