i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i need to put some appletini on your dick
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
