SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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