Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
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