in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
