Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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