I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
