Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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