I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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