If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
