He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
