i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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