what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize