You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
