STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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