Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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