when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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