Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
