If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
