he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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