Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
