I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
