After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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