guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
