I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
