drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he told me I talked like a deaf person
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize