Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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