How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
