Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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