I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
