She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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